My faith is a mess
Had a long chit-chat with my friend about love, life, religion and relationships. I realized that I’m still confused with what religion I want to follow. There are still a lot of Catholic ways I don’t want to give up but I want to continue being a renewed Christian. I am also still not convinced of practicing my faith/religion too. Am not sure. I am still questioning the existence of God. I know this is so bad of me to do this. But I can’t help it. I just want to live my own life in this world but I am also not sure why I need to search for the existence of God. I can’t understand myself at times.
They say that when you are down and depressed, all you got to do is call out His name for He will be listening. But what if I’m not used to calling out His name. What if I was used to solving all my troubles on my own. How then can I call out and reach out to Him. There are still questions troubling my mind. I don’t even know how to break to my parents my want of switching religions. The worst part is I am trying to challenge God and show me a miracle before I might actually believe in his existence. 
I’m such a total mess.
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