Concealed Thoughts

345 calories in 37 mins

daisy — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 13:36:46 +0000

That’s the calories I burned earlier today when I “treaded” the mill. I made this agreement with my colleague to shed off some pounds effective March 1st. His goal was for his upcoming wedding this December. Mine was to stay within my ideal weight before I turn 30. More or less, I have 7 months to accomplish this feat. So far, I have already jogged 6 times this month. I guess that means I’m right on track. I have yet to buy a weighing scale to keep track of my weight. I just wish that this would last till October and that I would find reason to keep on burning those stored fats. I have 35 lbs to shed off within 7 months. So I guess the goal is to loose at least 5lbs a month. Well, let’s see if I can sustain this. Might log everything here to check on my progress. Oh, by the way, bought a new sneakers for the work out too. Right now I’m sticking to using the treadmill and then trying to eat 2 meals in a day. I hope this diet works for me. Otherwise, I might end up going back to trying the GM diet for a week in order to hasten the burning of the fats stored. Haaay. I’m getting tired already. LOL

No Rice diet

hopeless

daisy — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 09:15:32 +0000

i am in deep shit right now. not that i killed someone or anyone ok or not because i am broke but because i no longer have the drive to write here anymore. i have not been taking care of this site and the other one for almost 3 months now and i hate it. i am again lost on what i need to do. i no longer know what my priorities are. i wish my brain would stop analyzing everything too much and just continue to work on how its supposed to that way i can continue with all that i need to continue doing.

i just miss my friends. i wish i can hang out with you guys more often. i wish i can spend some time with each one of you. i wish life is so easy that we can just do whatever we want to do. i wish that all my wishes would come true. pakshyet!

i am an introvert

daisy — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 07:14:34 +0000

more than ever, i would rather live on my own. i couldn’t wait to get out of our house and live by my own. as each days pass, i can no longer stand our home. i want to live a life where i don’t depend on others or where i am expected to do this and that. i wish they’d just leave me alone and don’t bother me at all. i don’t want to be bothered, don’t you get it?

Gloomy Christmas

escape

daisy — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 06:27:18 +0000

i guess its safe to say that i’m such a moron and unprofessional. i can’t finish this task that i’m working on ever since my mom got sick and even though she’s fine now, i still can’t find the time to face what i have to face and work on what i have to work. i’m such a creep. i even stopped opening my emails for fear that i’d get a couple of howling mails from people whom i made commitments. i’m such a loser. i just kept escaping them. i wonder how long i have to ran away from my responsibilities. *sigh*

Relying on Others

excuses

daisy — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 06:23:44 +0000

seems that i don’t run out of excuses and i might end up jeopardizing this business i started online. hearing the word “business” sounds so serious and formal right? well, its really not like that. a business acquaintance once told me that we need to call it as such since afterall this is a business we’re running here. well, whatever that means.

going back, i have no idea how to fix this dilemma. the more i try to think about it, the more my mind tells me i should just slouch. sometimes i blame our home for whatever negative vibes it contracted upon me. sometimes most of the time i just procrastinate. urghhh!

i’m such a mess

daisy — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 21:08:06 +0000

here i am again. ranting about my failures. i was about to embark on this new project which would earn me enough income to pay off my debts but instead of working my a$# off, here I am, taking my time, not even worrying about the deadline. I haven’t even finished half of what i’m supposed to be doing and all i’m thinking is quitting the job. i’m such a loser. i am! and i hate myself for it. i envy my guy friend who, despite his hectic schedule, manages to find time in working his butt off all the lined projects and tasks he need to accomplish, whereas me, i’m taking everything for granted. i wish i’d grow up soon! otherwise, i might end up hating myself for my failures. arrrggh!!!

My faith is a mess

Year 2012

daisy — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 06:44:56 +0000

before i even saw the movie, i kinda saw this youtube video about the mayan beliefs of the world being predicted to end in 2012. then i saw the movie. i dunno if there’s really truth to those predictions but i hope it won’t happen. but what if that happens? what if after 2 years, everything will end? i have mixed feelings over this. last night i even saw a program on the discovery channel where they are predicted that an ice age will again happen and ice will engulf the earth for i think that was around 20,000 years. but on top of the ice age prediction, they are also thinking that if the sun dies, then it will be the end of it all. they say that when this happens, we’d have already come up with resources or machines that will make us leave this planet and find another place in the solar system to exist. but the sun dying is estimated to happen not on this decade or the next. but they are saying that although we are far from experiencing this things, 1 apocaplypse might lead to the extinction of the human race. scary isn’t it?

with 2012 coming, it made me think to hold off any plans like remodelling our house or something. i know i shouldn’t worry myself with stuff like this. for my motto has always been “when it’s my time, it’s my time.” yet i can’t help worry for the rest of the people in this earth too. it even made me even more convinced not to have any children in the coming years so that they won’t have to live in this agony. well, one thing we can do is pray. pray hard that everything will be ok somehow. *sigh*

worried

on my own

daisy — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 06:35:47 +0000

i guess i’m on my own now. i feel i am. i feel that i can no longer share some stuff to people. or i find it too depressing or that they might find it boring too. i don’t even know if they are listening or not or if they pay attention to me. i wish i have a normal life. i really wish that would happen. i wish i am a normal person, where i am surrounded by friends who love me and me loving them back. maybe this is what happens when you reach a point in your life. instead of having a family (husband and kids) who will care for you, since you reached past that stage, your life won’t be the same again. you will be left behind, mending your own worries and all. this is too depressing. hopefully it will work out. hopefully everything will be ok.