i am in deep shit right now. not that i killed someone or anyone ok or not because i am broke but because i no longer have the drive to write here anymore. i have not been taking care of this site and the other one for almost 3 months now and i hate it. i am again lost on what i need to do. i no longer know what my priorities are. i wish my brain would stop analyzing everything too much and just continue to work on how its supposed to that way i can continue with all that i need to continue doing.
i just miss my friends. i wish i can hang out with you guys more often. i wish i can spend some time with each one of you. i wish life is so easy that we can just do whatever we want to do. i wish that all my wishes would come true. pakshyet!
more than ever, i would rather live on my own. i couldn’t wait to get out of our house and live by my own. as each days pass, i can no longer stand our home. i want to live a life where i don’t depend on others or where i am expected to do this and that. i wish they’d just leave me alone and don’t bother me at all. i don’t want to be bothered, don’t you get it?
i guess its safe to say that i’m such a moron and unprofessional. i can’t finish this task that i’m working on ever since my mom got sick and even though she’s fine now, i still can’t find the time to face what i have to face and work on what i have to work. i’m such a creep. i even stopped opening my emails for fear that i’d get a couple of howling mails from people whom i made commitments. i’m such a loser. i just kept escaping them. i wonder how long i have to ran away from my responsibilities. *sigh*
seems that i don’t run out of excuses and i might end up jeopardizing this business i started online. hearing the word “business” sounds so serious and formal right? well, its really not like that. a business acquaintance once told me that we need to call it as such since afterall this is a business we’re running here. well, whatever that means.
going back, i have no idea how to fix this dilemma. the more i try to think about it, the more my mind tells me i should just slouch. sometimes i blame our home for whatever negative vibes it contracted upon me. sometimes most of the time i just procrastinate. urghhh!
here i am again. ranting about my failures. i was about to embark on this new project which would earn me enough income to pay off my debts but instead of working my a$# off, here I am, taking my time, not even worrying about the deadline. I haven’t even finished half of what i’m supposed to be doing and all i’m thinking is quitting the job. i’m such a loser. i am! and i hate myself for it. i envy my guy friend who, despite his hectic schedule, manages to find time in working his butt off all the lined projects and tasks he need to accomplish, whereas me, i’m taking everything for granted. i wish i’d grow up soon! otherwise, i might end up hating myself for my failures. arrrggh!!!
before i even saw the movie, i kinda saw this youtube video about the mayan beliefs of the world being predicted to end in 2012. then i saw the movie. i dunno if there’s really truth to those predictions but i hope it won’t happen. but what if that happens? what if after 2 years, [...]
i guess i’m on my own now. i feel i am. i feel that i can no longer share some stuff to people. or i find it too depressing or that they might find it boring too. i don’t even know if they are listening or not or if they pay attention to me. i [...]
my mom’s sick and i have been “invisibly” delegated to work on cooking our daily meals. invisible since there’s no one else who will own the task. my dad can cook, but not really quite an expert. in fact, i hated that when i woke up today, at 11:30 am, my dad hasn’t prepared any [...]
